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October 07 Nineteen Months Down . . . Today is a special day . . . it is the 19 month anniversary of my diagnosis of breast cancer. What a scary time that was and of course, one often wonders if they are really cancer free . . . I mean I had no idea it was growing within my skin in March 2008 so it is natural to wonder when and if it will reappear. I celebrated this wonderful occasion by doing absolutely nothing. Ever since we returned from our trip last week, I have been running just as I did when my feet hit the ground. We got in about 12:30 AM this morning from our shift at the temple in Birmingham so I had every intention of sleeping in . . . and I was doing such a marvelous job of that with the heavy rain all night--until about 5 AM this morning that is. That is the time I awoke with a terrible cramp in the bottom of my left foot. Massaging it didn't work so I finally got out of bed to try and walk it off--well, it sort of worked. It left my foot and moved promptly up my leg . . . after four unsuccessful attempts to keep this annoying cramps at bay, I finally got up . . . and having been moving in neutral gear ever since. But that's all right. Everyone deserves a day to fluff off and I chose today! After all, I did accomplish unloading the dishwasher didn't I? Now back to the cancer story. . . the continuing saga of that dreaded 'c' word. Yes, I still have sharp pains in the area where the tumor was removed. They come and go and surprise me at times. They don't last long but they do serve the purpose of pricking my attention so I will do a once over to check for lumps, bumps or other foreign objects. Using my right arm much does still cause some discomfort but it is usually more annoying than anything else. Yes, I am still on the Femara and putting up with some of the blasted side effects of it, but other than the constant joint pain the others have pretty much subsided. I still don't really look at myself in the mirror and I try to avoid bathing and dressing when my Dear Husband is present. Silly? Perhaps. He thinks so anyway . . . but I am still self-conscious about it and have expressed to him that I don't feel I even look like a woman anymore . . . If one was to take a nude photo of me from the neck down at a particular angle where my genitalia would be hidden (mostly by my big belly) it would be impossible to determine my gender . . . what a depressing and discouraging thought that is, but that is how I feel about my body. Now on the other hand however, I am feeling so very blessed and fortunate. Despite the problems with this 'mature' body of mine, it still serves me well in so many ways. I can bathe, dress and feed myself. There are many who can't do that. I can use my arms to embrace my Dear Husband and hug and hold my grandbabies. I am able to entertain myself for hours at the computer or doing needlework. I can still maintain my household (though not like I used to) and prepare our meals, drive a car, pick and arrange flowers, pull weeds and operate not only the vaccuum cleaner but also my exercise Gazelle (which tries to beat me up occasionally but I can still do my 25 minute workout most days.) There are so many little things I take for granted that I can still do. I cut and style my own hair and that of Dear Husband and our two dogs. Though not on my list of favorite activities, I can iron, wash dishes, and bake my own bread. I can wield a broom or mop, dust those detestable ceiling fans and serve in various church assignments. Hey, I think I have it pretty good! Oh, and I can still write a check or swipe my credit card so life isn't so bad . . . Yes, I can fold my arms to pray and the Lord ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS hears my prayers. He is so good! TrackbacksThe trackback URL for this entry is: http://nevertrustaskinnycook60.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!885E2A956126F84E!927.trak Weblogs that reference this entry
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